Two Hours to Freedom

We ended up cutting our time in New Brunswick a little shorter than initially planned because of inclement weather and body aches. Despite leaving a day early, our time in Canada wasn't quite as short as we had hoped. It took us nearly two hours to cross the St. Croix River and return to the land of Bruce Springsteen, Apple Pie and FREEDOM!!!
To cross into Canada we waited in line for approximately 5 minutes. We told the patrolman where we were from, where we were going and why; we didn't even show ID. Can you believe that it could be so easy to get into a foreign country? What, with the world in the state it's in. Shoe bombs, liquid bombs, smart bombs... Obviously Canada hates freedom, I mean, even her signs are half in French.
Upon arriving in the border town, we were able to listen to nearly three full LPs. Granted it was nice to be able to do research for the impending Best of 2007 List, but I'd much rather have done that in the comfort of our home, not in a car full of wet and smelly backpacking equipment.
Along with filling the air with sweet indie music bliss, we also were also able to spew out about a pound of Carbon Monoxide, while we waited, with dozens of other automobiles also spewing out emissions. It's hard to believe that there is any Ozone left above St. Stephen.
When we finally made it to the gate, the patrolman checked our documents and questioned our activities. He couldn't believe that we were away for nearly a week and weren't coming back with a car full of Canadian goods.
"You said you were there for a week, and you didn't buy anything?"
"We were camping and backpacking."
"No T-shirts or souvenirs?"
"We bought a hiking map?" ("WE HAVEN'T SHOWERED FOR NEARLY A WEEK, WE DIDN'T GO ON A SHOPPING SPREE")
As we finally pulled away from the interrogation gate, we passed a sign stating that we were entering the Eastern Time Zone, making our clocks report that we had only wasted one hour, trying to get back into our homeland, not two, like we had originally thought.
I couldn't believe that it took so much time and effort to return to the country that we are citizens of, then I saw the difference. The people on this side of the river didn't have shackles on their wrists and ankles, they could own guns and practice whatever religion they chose, they all had homes and plenty of food in their fridges...